• Tappan Hornor

What is the difference between loving the idea of loving someone and being in love?

Updated: May 1



1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails.


What is the difference between loving the idea of loving someone

and being in love?


If you just love the idea of someone, you are usually in love

with what they can be instead of what they really are.

Or you just want them around because you feel lonely

and want to be loved.


Being in love means you accept that everyone is flawed and human

and that mistakes can and likely will be made.


1. Loving someone is a choice, being in love is the result of that choice.

  • You can choose to love someone.

  • You can decide you will see their best qualities, appreciate them for who they are, and be a supportive partner to them.

  • You can also choose to stop loving someone, to walk away and forget about them.

  • Being in love is the result of choosing unselfishly.

  • Being in love is not something you can walk away from.

  • If you leave, you will take the feeling of being in love with you.

2. Loving someone means wanting them to do well,

being in love means putting them first. 3. Loving someone is fleeting, being in love is forever.

4. Loving someone means needing them around,

being in love means needing them to be where they are happy.

5. Loving someone is a rush, being in love is steady stream of emotions. 6. Loving someone is about how they make you feel,

being in love is about how you make them feel. A common answer people give when asked why they love someone is,

“Because of how they make me feel.”


  • That is a valid answer, but if it is all about how you feel, then you probably are not actually in love.

  • Loving someone means you are only concerned with how he makes you feel loved, special, or appreciated.

  • Being in love means you worry about how to make him feel loved as well, because that is equally as important to you.


7. Loving someone is about ownership, being in love is a partnership.